This is the first time I have ever consciously stopped and reflected over the past year. Maybe it’s because I feel safe enough to do so since this past year has been one of my best. Nothing life altering happened. It was just peaceful.

What made it so peaceful? Looking back I realize I had let go of a whole lot of expectations from others. I stopped caring what others opinions of me were, stopped trying to make everyone like me and stopped saying yes. I just kinda let-go.

Even bigger than that I let go of a whole lot of expectations on MYSELF. I stopped following all my self-imposed rules. Rule #1. I must workout every day. Rule #2. I must only eat organic healthy foods. Rule #3. I must be productive. And so on….I had lots of rules.

So now thinking back on this year I realize days went by without me exercising. In the past I would have beat myself up for missing even one day, never mind multiple days, but I guess it didn’t bother me. Looks like I broke rule #1.

And I was eating what I wanted without punishment. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t binging or eating a bag of chocolate chip cookies everyday, but if I wanted an ice cream I got an ice cream. If I wanted pizza, I ate pizza. Rule #2 just went out the window.

And on top of that I remember more than 1 day where I sat in for hours and binge watched Game of Thrones or read an entire book without even changing out of my pajamas. Say goodbye to rule #3. And so on. Let’s remember none of this was intentional. It all just happened.

I let go of control. Didn’t make the decision to do it. It all just happened. And you know what, It made for the most blissful, pleasant year I think I’ve ever had.

Advertisements